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I'd heard about UK
Pussy Talk from a friend during a conversation at
the local watering hole. He mentioned the site had a long
interview with Lolly Badcock, a particular favourite of mine,
along with a nice flashing movie where she plays with a toy
outdoors. There's a free movie as well which I later found
out is just the first few minutes of the members version.
Fair enough, something to entice you in and make you purchase
membership to the site. So naturally enough, when I got home
I paid up, poured myself a can and settled down hoping for
an enjoyable evening.
After logging on, it took me straight to a page with all
the bonus sites available to view plus a link to the UK
Pussy Talk home page. I found that rather odd - surely
your core content would be what people are interested in,
rather than the links to other sites you can also access?
Nevertheless, I clicked on.
Like the rest of the site, the home page is fairly simplistic
and offers 10 girls on the front page, each with a large thumbnail
and the same red chair background, so at least you can be
fairly confident that this is filmed exclusively for this
site.
At the end of the page you also have the usual 'next' button
to show the next 10 girls. After clicking through, I noticed
that there were only 40 different girls listed before you're
taken to the bonus material again. Each girl has free and
members' videos available and there is some variety in the
girls shown - they have a few more mature models for you MILF
fans out there.
Without wanting to critique the website design itself, it
was fairly easy to use but not that easy to read. They've
opted for a homemade feel that isn't too bad overall but could
be much much better.
The menu options show you pretty much everything on the site,
split into five categories: interviews, 'other', outdoor,
picture sets and bonus sites. Clicking on any of the links
here (or from the home page) takes you to that girl's page
with all the videos and photo sets they've done. This can
range from one or two for the likes of Angel Long and Lolly
Badcock to five or six for the lesser known faces on the site.
Each vid has four different options: Window Media fast broadband
download (1.5M/sec) and the same again for slow broadband
(350kb/s), Real Video streaming (500k/s) and the same for
downloading. That sounds great until you see the size of the
files - they're all huge. The option for the 'slow broadband'
connection option is still 74Mb. For a guy looking for some
hot movies to pleasure himself to, you'd need to click on
it then go and make - and drink - a cup of tea and quite possibly
watch the second half of Coronation Street before you've downloaded
your movie. Great if you're a boy scout and like to be prepared,
but not much fun if you've been out on the lash and want something
there and then!
The streaming is a little better; it's immediate at least
but it can cut out fairly frequently. This isn't great if
you're just at the point of no return!
The site also features some picture sets - very few to be
honest and they're really tame. They are a little harder than
a standard top-shelf magazine as they do show some fairly
gynaecological shots but I couldn't spot any toys and they're
all of a 'look, I'm displaying myself' type rather than 'damn
I'm hot and getting myself off'.
Some of the shots in the bonus area are even worse and there
are a number out of focus. Memorably, one shot is nicely focused
on a bush - unfortunately it's the type a gardening programme
would wax lyrical about rather than the bush on the intended
naked girl nearby.
Oh, and you'd better remember your password as you'll be
asked to enter it loads of times. And a word of warning -
if you have Norton Anti-virus, you'll probably need to turn
off the privacy control option in order to access the bonus
sites.
So, that's the technical bit out of the way, what about the
actual content?
Unfortunately, I can't say that this is where the site redeems
itself. There are a lot of vids where girls are naked outdoors
and if this is your thing then great, knock yourself out.
Other favourites include peeing and the mainstay of the site,
interviews with the stars.
This is a fan site dedicated to the niche market of interviews
with pornstars. If you're a real fan of a porn star listed
on the site then I suppose it'd be quite nice to watch an
interview with them talking about their lives, their fantasies
and so on. For everyone else then this would probably be a
little boring.
The vast, vast majority of content is a single girl talking
to camera or to person behind the camera. You can see an occasional
video of two girls together, but my first attempt showed two
girls stood up, nattering away in front of the camera for
the first minute or two. Personally, this is not what I want
from a porn site so I clicked off pretty quickly.
The bonus sites are better with some good content on there
- lots to choose from with full hardcore sex, lesbian, etc.
On some of the sites you have the option of downloading the
whole movie or just two minute snippets of the bit you want
(which is something that UK
Pussy Talk could learn from). The best of the bonus sites
are from Viv Thomas (one pictures, one movies) and these are
what you would expect - good quality hardcore and straight
into the action.
Another thing that UK
Pussy Talk could learn from these bonus sites is either
getting some acting lessons for the girls, or cutting out
the acting altogether. I remember one girl trying to look
shocked at the camera, saying "Oh! You want me to pee
right here? Into this coffee mug?" The thing is, she
knows that she's been hired to do that job. Every person watching
knows that she's been hired to do that job, so why pretend
that it's been sprung upon her and she'll try it as she's
just a naughty girl.
Actually, I don't think it's the girl's fault - she's just
doing what she's asked to by the director. The thing is, you
don't get actresses of Jodie Foster's ilk doing this kind
of movie - my advice would be to cut out the pretending and
just stick to the sex.
With the quantity and variety of content, I could forgive
the site if it was a couple of months old and they had plans
in place to revamp and add much more content over the coming
few months. However, for a website which seems to have been
around since the first half of 2006 (if not before), I'm not
really impressed.
So, the all important 'would I?' questions:
- Would I be happy spending $25 a month on this? Not a chance.
- Would I be happy spending a one-off $10 to see a 30 minute
interview with my favourite porn star(s)? Yes.
Personally, I wish I'd stayed in the pub yesterday evening.
UK
Pussy Talk is, quite simply, a disappointment.
reviewed November 2007
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